Why Sean Lennon is Cool... and Super Models Are Infections on Human Culture. Pt.Une

Playing and replaying the French remix to Sean Lennon's song "Parachute" called "L'eclispe", and featuring the always awesome -M- (Mattieu Chedid, who is a little-known French artist who does lots of collaborations with really great indie artists, the lucky Vanessa Paradis for instance, known widely for being Johnny Depp's housemate and baby- mama, hence her being lucky) I am reminded of the sheer artistic genius that stems from the offspring of the world's most beloved Ex-Beatle, and Yoko Ono. I remember I first heard of him actually watching the the documentary about his father: "Imagine". Then, he was an articulate 13 year old boy who even then bore a striking resemblance to his famous papa. I googled him, and of course, the first thing I saw was his myspace page, because, and I'm so not kidding, even Jesus has a myspace. Actually, he has several. I haven't yet figured out which one is really him, but, if we reference the bible, then theoretically he is everywhere, so it would follow logically that they are all the real Jesus, but I'm getting off topic here. So there are several varied reasons why Sean Lennon is cool. The first being quite obvious, but, for the benefit of the post, I shall state them all below in numerical order:
1.He began life as the sperm of John Lennon, and, I have to admit, even I'm a little bit jealous of that.
2. He looks remarkably like his father, and it seems pretty effortless, though, I've gotta say, wearing the rounded spectacles are abusing it a bit...
3. His music is illuminating, dynamic, and, ultimately rad.
4. His mom is the most famous band-wrecker in world history.
5. He wrote a song in French which is arguably the sexiest language on Earth. And I hope you don't mind me saying that I dare you to prove me otherwise.





I think those are all pretty straightforward, so now I suppose you're wondering why Supermodels are Infections on Human Culture, and I'm going to tell you:

1. They are thin waifs whose main purpose seems to be to make very normal woman feel like regurgitated dog crap every time they open a magazine and realize that one of their thighs is probably twice the weight of the girl in the expensive Balenciaga ball gown.
2. They have learned to get over the incumbent stupidity of their namesakes and have begun to build empires, as if they didn't dominate the world enough simply by being beautiful. Bitches.
3. They often have long, lasting relationships with the most awesome/hot/intelligent/avant-garde/successful men. And the rest of us are left with guys like David Spade, only without the fame and money. Fucking Bitches.
4. We have to see their faces advertising everything from the makeup we wear, to the fucking underwear, and if it doesn't stop soon, I'm going to have to boycott all basic feminine products (except, of course, the sanitary ones) in order to maintain what little self esteem I have left. Goddamn Fucking Bitches.
5. One day, when their beauty has wilted around the edges, and they can't figure out whether their tits or their face is sagging faster, they will still be irrevocably rich from all that smart entrepreneurship in which case they can probably afford to surgically intervene any kind of sagging and wrinkles for the rest of their miserable, privileged lives.

Now I bet you're wondering what on Earth Supermodels have to do with Sean Lennon. Well, I'm glad you asked that. Because you see, when wondering about the age difference between he and I and deciding it was more than reasonable to date a 32 year old at my age, especially since my ex-boyfriend will be the same age in November, I realized, of course that it was highly unlikely that someone as cool as Sean Lennon would be single. And I was right. I think you can see where I'm going here. He is, quite predictably dating a Supermodel named Charlotte Kemp Muhl, whom I had never even heard of until today, and immediately wished, after seeing how beautiful she was, that I was still comfortably oblivious to her existence. I suppose, even being an American, I can't be ignorant all the time. Now that I've said that, I'd better go out and buy a flag pin to replace the one I wear now that says "Listen to your mama, vote Obama." Because properly displayed patriotic memorabilia is much more important than deciding who's going to run the country. In fact, I'd even go as far as to say that politics are really not the business of the general American public and we should spend more time being comfortably oblivious to its existence whilst doing more fulfilling activities. Like reading Vogue, or watching the Tyra Banks show, or better yet, going to Victoria's Secret to buy their new "Supermodel" fragrance. Like I'm about to do. Right now.

End.